When I became pastor, Fr. Andrew told me that this column space was a task that was unrelenting. It does keep coming around. I would love to tell you there is a grand vision in the background that connects the dots from week to week, but there isn’t. Sometimes it is driven by the liturgical season, things at the parish, events on the national scene, one of many other items important to the parish, or once in a while, something I have just been musing about. Like last week it was gossip.

I have been writing the column for almost three years now. No one has thrown rotten fruit or declared that I am a heretic. And that’s a good thing. Once in a while people will say they enjoyed it. But mostly it passes without comment or feedback. Until last week that is. I think I received more comments, asides, emails, and calls/voice mails about the column on gossip than all previous columns combined. Interesting.

Among the wide variety of comments were several that wanted me to know that gossip has benefits. Did you know there is a whole body of research on “prosocial gossip?” Researchers have found that gossiping – specifically spreading information about a person who has behaved badly – can play a critical role in maintaining social order, preventing exploitation and lowering stress. The researchers did not focus on the reputation smearing, mud-raking, vicious kind of chatter. They focused on the act of spreading negative information about people who aren’t participating in the conversation, refined it to what they called “prosocial” gossip, which has the function of warning people about the untrustworthy or dishonest behavior of others. Interesting. Can prosocial gossip be Christian?

I suspect this is a topic that needs more than a column, but…it seems to me that are at least two things that should frame our thinking about prosocial gossip. If our intent is to warn others about untrustworthy or dishonest behavior of others, do we have a prior responsibility? “If your brother sins, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.” (Matthew 18:15) It would seem so.

There is a difference between truth and its communication. “The right to the communication of the truth is not unconditional. Everyone must conform his life to the Gospel precept of fraternal love. This requires us in concrete situations to judge whether or not it is appropriate to reveal the truth to someone who asks for it.” (Catechism §2488)
In all cases, the words we speak should be true, necessary, and helpful. Even if the words are true, if the speaking of them are necessary and helpful to our own self, that should perhaps give us pause. If the words are conformed to fraternal love, then we are challenged to make our words helpful – and that begins with words we choose and the way we speak them. That too should give us pause.