The coming Sunday is the 13th Sunday of Ordinary Time in Liturgical Year A. As Jesus had warned in earlier passages, there will be divisions within families that will bring a believer to a choice: loyalty to Jesus or the family.

37 “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;38 and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me.39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Jesus is emphasizing that the love and devotion his followers have for him should surpass even the strongest familial bonds. In Jewish culture, family relationships were highly valued and held significant importance. However, Jesus is asserting that his disciples’ commitment to him must take precedence over their love for their parents – even above their own children.

The verse does not mean that Jesus disregards the importance of familial relationships or discourages love for family members. Rather, it serves to emphasize the primacy of commitment to Jesus and his teachings. Jesus is calling for a radical reordering of priorities, where disciples should be willing to let go of any attachment that could hinder their complete devotion to him and his mission.

By stating that those who prioritize family relationships over their loyalty to him are “not worthy of me,” Jesus sets a high standard for discipleship. He emphasizes that true discipleship requires a wholehearted commitment and a willingness to let go of any competing loyalties.

It is important to note that Jesus’ words in this verse are intended to provoke self-examination and challenge his followers to consider the depth of their commitment to him as it points to a recurring theme in Jesus’ teachings, where he asks his followers to let go of earthly attachments and prioritize their relationship with God and the kingdom of heaven.

France notes, “Because of the division which Jesus provokes within families (vv. 34–36), true discipleship may bring a conflict of loyalties, and in that case, following Jesus must take precedence over the natural love of family (the Greek word is phileō, natural affection, not agapaō, the loving commitment which is a Christian characteristic). The Christian may even have to leave his family (19:29). The Lucan parallel (Luke 14:26) calls for ‘hatred’ of the family, but Matthew’s version correctly interprets this Semitic idiom (cf. Gen. 29:31; Deut. 21:15; Mal. 1:2–3) as an expression of prior loyalty or of choice rather than of actual dislike. Jesus calls not for an unloving attitude, but for a willingness to put him first in the concrete situation where the calls of Jesus and of family conflict.”

The “loss” of family is bad enough, but there is also another cost that might be required of the disciples. What is interesting is that all the while Jesus is warning the disciples of the rough times that lay ahead, much of Matthew 9 described the mission of Jesus as a spectacular success. It is natural to think that the disciples expected their mission, in His Name, to be as spectacular.  It is as though from “left field” that Jesus then introduces the imagery of the cross. There is no soothing image or metaphor for the cross. The cross in the sign of Roman domination and the power over an occupied people. To take up one’s cross is the description of a death sentence being implemented.

The disciple is asked to place aside his or her own inclinations and interests, as well as those of the natural family, in order to truly follow Jesus. To give up the life one once held (even unto death) is the path to find the life that is truly worth living.

Image credit: Sermon on the Mount (1877) by Carl Heinrich Bloch, Museum of National History at Frederiksborg Castle, Public Domain