The Washington Post Editorial Board had an interesting post this morning about, as the title hints, what is the state of marriage, is it being affected by current politics/political divides, and how is this all seen by young people entering adulthood? After reading the article I sought out some information on the general state of marriage in the United States.

A 2023 Pew Research paper on the modern family provided some basic information: In 1970, 67% of Americans ages 25 to 49 were living with their spouse and one or more children younger than 18. Over the next 50 years, that percentage dropped to 37%. During that same period the average age of couples on their wedding day was 8 years older in 2023 than in 1970.

With the drop in the share of adults living with a spouse and children, there has been an increase in other types of family living arrangements:

• Married no kids (21%)
• Cohabitating kids (5%)
• Cohabitating no kids (7%)
• Unpartnered with kids (6%)
• With other adult family members (11%)

When asked, broadly speaking, Americans are more pessimistic than optimistic about the future of the institution of marriage and the family.  There is far more information about reasons, causes, and expectations, but the above is some background information describing the milieu into which people are ascending into adulthood.

The Post article offered that the age in which we live complicates the already-existing trend in the institution of marriage and family. It seems that women are finding it more difficult to find what they consider a suitable partner. While there are a host of sociological problems associated, it seems that the political divide our country is experiencing is also making finding a life partner more difficult.

Since 2016, the percentage of single women ages 18-30 who identify as liberal has shot up from slightly over 20 percent to 32 percent. Young men have not followed suit. If anything, they have grown more conservative. The article offers: “In another era, political or ideological differences might have had less impact on marriage rates. But, increasingly, the political is personal. A 2021 survey of college students found that 71 percent of Democrats would not date someone with opposing views. There is some logic to this. Marriage across religious or political lines — if either partner considers those things to be central to their identity — can be associated with lower levels of life satisfaction. And politics is becoming more central to people’s identity.”

This mismatch means that someone will need to compromise. It is estimated that 1 in 5 young singles will have little choice but to marry someone outside their ideological tribe. But the troubling question that linger unanswered is whether we have done anything to help young people (or ourselves) learn to engage and find mutually acceptable solutions? The article is not hopeful.

“The marriage dilemma reflects a broader societal one: whether people can find ways to adapt to a new normal of ideological and political polarization, instead of hoping — against all evidence — that it will dissipate. Unfortunately, Americans have not equipped themselves to discuss, debate and reason across these divides. Americans have increasingly sorted themselves according to ideological orientation. They are working, living and socializing with people who think the same things they do. Particularly on college campuses, a culture of seeking sameness has set up young Americans for disappointment. They expect people to share their own convictions and commitments.”

But in thinking about all this, I remain hopeful. While the political chasms seem to be widening, it seems to me that the generations that follow each have their own way of adapting, compromising, or simply finding a new norm. Will that flexibility overcome a longer trend in marriage and family life? I hope so. Data shows that marriage is good for the health of societies and individuals alike. On the whole, while politically mixed couples report somewhat lower levels of satisfaction than same-party couples, they are still likely to be happier than those who remain single. I hope this generation of new adults finds their was through this current milieu.

Image credit: Pexels

While researching: A University of Michigan ongoing study shows that a little over 70% of graduating high school seniors expect to get married – a percentage that is largely unchanged over the last 50 years.  But the dynamics have changed. Marriage was a basic institution whose sequence was that you got married, then you moved in together, and then you got a job. Today a better description might be marriage is now becoming the last step into adulthood and an optional one at that. People are more likely to want to finish their education, find a job and pay off debt before getting married. As a result, many are delaying marriage. The number of women entering their first marriage between the ages of 40 and 59 has jumped 75% since 1990.  I guess we all can expect far fewer 50th anniversary parties in the future.