In the first reading for today, it seems as though Moses has reached “the end of his rope.” We encounter one of Moses’ most raw and human moments—bordering on what may seem like a “pity party,” but is really a profound leadership crisis. A leadership that Moses was likely unprepared for and had to grow into the role. There was no mentor, no role model. He had been asked to do God’s work to free the Israelites from slavery. At this point, his encounters with Pharaoh are over and he has led the people from Egypt into the wilderness. The thrill of their freedom has worn thin and they begin complaining—again—particularly about food. They’re tired of the manna and cry out for meat.

“The riffraff among them were so greedy for meat that even the Israelites lamented again, ‘If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we used to eat without cost in Egypt, and the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.'” (Nb 11:4-5; the reading leaves out the first part of v.4)

The nostalgia for Egypt is ironic—they remember the food but not the slavery. The people’s constant complaining and lack of gratitude push him to the edge – Moses is overwhelmed

“Why do you treat your servant so badly? Why are you so displeased with me that you burden me with all this people?… I cannot carry all this people by myself, for they are too heavy for me. If this is the way you will deal with me, then please do me the favor of killing me at once.” (vv.11–15)

This is Moses at his lowest. He feels isolated, unappreciated and burned out. In a sign of his emotional and spiritual exhaustion, he even asks God to take his life, ending this misery. 

I am sure many of us can relate. Many leaders, teachers, parents and caretakers have had a “Moses moment” of saying: “I can’t do this anymore.” We can be overwhelmed by the immensity of the moment, the sameness of the recurring events (with no change in sight) – at our rope’s end – right where Moses was.

Moses turned to God. It wasn’t the most eloquent of prayers, but it was true and raw coming from the depth of his being in that moment. And God answers. God’s answer isn’t: “Suck it up” or “Toughen up”—He sends help.

Scripture holds this passage up as a model of honest prayer. It gives permission to pour out our anguish before God, who listens, understands, and responds. Don’t hold back.

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Image credit: The Manna Harvest / Giuseppe Angeli c. 1768, San Eustachio Church, Venice, Italy | Public Domain