Nothing but net

Basketball-in-Hoop-SwishRecently I found myself on a basketball court. I picked up the ball with visions of past glories rebounding in my head (…and those glories are more delusional than actual). As I positioned myself at the free-throw line it occurred to me that the ball had become noticeably heavier and that the basket was somewhat further away. Undaunted, I went through the routine and took the shot. The shot arched nicely through the winter air and in my mind the crowd broke out in a chorus of ….. air ball, air ball! … as the shot returned to earth well short of its intended destiny of “nothing but net.”  Continue reading

Resolutions and Commitments

CalvinI first wrote this column two years ago. Some folks asked about where they could get a copy and suggested that I repeat the column; so we did. Last January I had many folks comment, in person and via email, that it was just what they needed to hear. So perhaps this will be a “tradition” here at the parish while I am pastor. But it also occurs to me that this is also a great time to pause and for each of us to reflect upon the promises we made on Commitment Sunday in early November. I pray that your promises are being fulfilled, and you are experiencing abundant spiritual fruit in your life.

Unless you happen to be like my muse, Calvin, in the comic strip, I suspect you are about to make some New Year’s resolutions. How did you do on last year’s resolutions? About the same as the rest of us? One ad hominem wisdom saying defines “insanity” this way: to keep doing the same thing and expect a different result. Perhaps 2016 is a time to consider changing the way resolutions are considered, made, and hopefully, kept.

During the Advent season, many people took the opportunity to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation as a spiritual preparation for Christmas and the New Year. When someone lists out their sins and the areas of their lives that are in need of God’s forgiveness, I often respond with, “If you could only work on one thing from your list, what would be the priority? What would be the one thing you would take into prayer and ask God’s help?” Most people intuitively know their lives and have an answer. I encourage them to do just that: focus on the one thing with God’s help.

It is good to know that my intuitive encouragement has some scientific foundation. According to Roy Baumeister and John Tierney in their book “Willpower,” it’s incredibly difficult to make a change in more than one area of your life at a time. Why? Because each of us has only a limited supply of willpower, and we deplete our supply when we try to ward off some temptation or persevere in some new virtue. Did you spend all day resisting the sweets at the office? You will find it incredibly difficult to not have “just a little dessert” after dinner. Choose one habit you want to quit first and conserve your willpower for that priority. Only after the resolution is no longer daunting, should you then move to a new resolution.

What if the habit or behavior that you would like to change involves sin? Now temptation, free will, and choice are mixed in the blender of humanity, the siren’s call of “modern” life, and a whole host of other items. I would suggest that Baumeister and Tierney’s advice – focus on one sin/sinful habit – is still good advice. But I would also add that there is another dimension in play. While the Sacrament of Reconciliation

offers God’s forgiveness, it also provides grace to seek God’s wisdom in addressing the underlying element of one’s life that needs healing. Is human willpower involved? Absolutely, but it is fortified by God’s grace, the Holy Spirit, and Wisdom of God in discovering what requires healing in one’s life. But there is more.

The Letter of James 5:16 is a verse many folks are not familiar with: “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful.” But I would add, be careful whom you tell. As Derek Sivers shares in his succinct TED Talk, it’s often better to keep your goals to yourself. Counter to our intuition, sharing our aspirations with others doesn’t encourage us to persevere or keep us accountable. Sivers goes on to explain that if you really need to tell someone, enlist that person to help keep you accountable by, for instance, checking in weekly on how you’re doing. And in the context of our faith, that means share your success, your failures, and prayer with your fellow Christian.

It is in the power of prayer that the grace of God fortifies free will, resolution, and commitment. It is in the power of your prayer/accountability partner that perseverance is reinforced.

It is insanity to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Maybe this year try something new regarding your resolutions for a better, more holy life: include prayer, partnership, and the power of God when choosing the one thing.

 

Anticipation

Joseph_and_Mary_arrive_at_BethlehemI think it’s fair to say that there is no other day that brings as much anticipation as Christmas Eve. As a child, it’s hard to sleep. You just want it to be Christmas morning — preferably while it’s still dark so the tree looks magical as the lights cast a glow on the presents that weren’t there when you went to bed. You can’t wait to open them, but you don’t want to spoil the beauty and the surprise yet either. It is a time full of mystery and excitement.

As a parent, you’re running full-tilt getting everything ready. You’re not only wrapping gifts until the wee hours of the morning, you’re making sure you’ve got everything you need from the store. You’re thinking of the guests who will be arriving for dinner (or the trip you’ll be making to the in-laws) the cleanliness of your home, and the hope of getting enough sleep that you won’t be in too much of a zombie stupor to assemble the toys you got your little ones. Continue reading

Embracing Hospitality

welcometochurch1The days of Christmas are quickly approaching, your shopping isn’t finished (….maybe not started!), the end-of-year activities at work are reaching deadlines, the tree is not up, the kids have a school Christmas play tomorrow night (… “Mom, is my costume ready?”…what costume?), and…and… oh my gosh, the in-laws are coming to stay with us this Christmas. Even amidst the momentary panic of “how will all this get done,” there is an ever-present awareness that we want to be hospitable, warm, and welcoming – not only to the in-laws but to all who come to our door during the holidays. Continue reading

Year of Mercy

Logo for Holy Year of MercyPope Francis has announced a Year of Mercy that began last Tuesday, December 8th . The Holy Father has asked that it be a church-wide celebration and reflection on God’s mercy, so that we can intentionally be sources of that Mercy in the world.

The logo of the celebration comes from Luke 6:36, “Be merciful as the Father is merciful,” that appears alongside an image that deserves some inspection and reflection. The logo is oddly shaped – rather looking like an almond. The almond shape, called a mandorla, was a feature of early and medieval iconography. When used with the image of Christ, it invites the viewer to reflect on the two natures of Christ, divine and human. The differing color bands of blue, increasingly darker as one moves inward is also a recurring theme in these icons. It reflects what is called the “apophatic way” on reflecting on God. In the apophatic way, it acknowledges that there is mystery at the center of the way – a mystery that is, in the end, impenetrable, but nonetheless calls us ever inward in reflection. At the center of the darkest color, where Jesus’ feet are positioned, is the great mystery of the Incarnation – that in the person of Jesus, humanity and divinity are joined: “And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us, and we saw his glory, the glory as of the Father’s only Son, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14) Continue reading

Being Merciful

Logo for Holy Year of MercyPope Francis has declared a Jubilee Year of Mercy to begin on the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception this December 8th . In Judaism and Christianity, the Jubilee is a special year of remission of sins, forgiving debts, and reconciling broken relationships. It is a year in which the people of God are asked to especially make manifest the mercy of God. So maybe, here at the beginning, it is a good time to think about the meaning of “mercy.”

Merriam-Webster offers that mercy is the “forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one’s power.” Sadly, that is the limit of how many understand God: the grim judge who is holding back power and punishment even though we deserve it. Such an understanding never gives any insight into the nature of God or his divine motivation or desire. But we do know about God’s desire – He desires that all be saved (1 Tim 2:4). And so the people of God have been reflecting on such things for a while. Continue reading

Advent Advice

advent-bannerWe get lots of advice all throughout our lifetime. And it comes from many different venues. For example: advice on the best schools, places to live and vacation, and places to dine. If you buy a book on Amazon, they are quick to advise you on other books that you should purchase. We are constantly bombarded with fashion advice. Still, it is hard to avoid advice. We are awash in it.

But among all the flotsam and jetsam of advice circulating through our lives, there are some gems. I suspect the best advice; the advice that changes our lives comes from people. People who know us and have insights into our heart’s desire, know the direction and heading of our life path, and who care for us. People who just might know us better than we know ourselves. It is great advice – and yet, for reasons explicable and not, we do not take the advice. Continue reading

Who do we thank?

ThinkingI am grateful for a day in which we, as a people, pause to give thanks. And who do we have to thank for this holiday? Your answer is likely “The Pilgrims.” You would not be wrong, but then not completely correct, either. Certainly Thanksgiving and the religious response of giving thanks to God is as old as time. When one considers enduring cultures, one always finds men and women working out their relationship to God. There is almost always a fourfold purpose to our acts of worship: adoration, petition, atonement, thanksgiving. Such worship is part and parcel of life. And yet, there is still a very human need to specially celebrate and offer thanksgiving on key occasions and anniversaries. Since medieval times, we have very detailed records of celebrations marking the end of an epidemic, liberation from sure and certain doom, the signing of a peace treaty, and more. Continue reading