Habits of a Loving Heart

Back in the day when I was working in the world and spending way too much time on airplanes accumulating way too many frequent-flyer miles, it seemed to me business travelers did three things on longer flights: sleep, work, or read Stephen’ Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” The book argues that one should align universal and timeless principles with one’s values. Covey sees principles as external natural laws, while values remain internal and subjective. Covey asserts that values govern people’s behavior, but principles ultimately determine the consequences. If sales volume is measure of the usefulness of this self-help book, then 25 million copies sold says something. Maybe there are some possibilities for a parallel book about the best practices and habits for Catholics. Might be a Lenten best seller!

I suspect we humans under-appreciate the impact and power of habits – good and bad. I sometimes wonder if we humans are not fundamentally thinking creatures or believing creatures, but desiring creatures. Thinking and believing are key and essential parts of who we are, but I suspect what pushes and pulls us has more to do with what captures our desires, our affections — our hearts. Our identity as persons is shaped by what we ultimately love or what we love as ultimate. It is the heart that needs formation in the Christian life. (“Habits of the Heart” – great title, but already taken by Robert Bellah.)

At our baptism, we are claimed for Christ by the sign of the cross the priest and parents trace on our foreheads, we are anointed as disciples of Christ, and we are washed clean in the waters of Baptism and in the Holy Spirit. And now we are ready to develop the habits for a lifetime. We don’t immediately become saints. We observe, we watch, we listen, and we, knowingly or not, cultivate habits that become a natural part of our lives. Nature hates a vacuum. So, we either form Christian habits of the heart or other habits of the heart will surely find their own place in our hearts.

What would be your list for the habits that well form our heart as Christian people? Here is my list (and the first one should not surprise you, given how I spend Tuesday nights; hint, hint… you can join me in the San Damiano Center at 7:00 pm!)

Read the Word of God – have the Word ever in your mind and heart. It is where you meet Jesus and where you can fall in love. In those grey moments when you are wondering what to do, the answer to WWJD (what would Jesus do) is written in the Sacred Scriptures.

Cultivate an active prayer life – no sense falling in love with Jesus if you’re not going to talk with Him. God cannot effectively change, shape and mold our lives unless we share it with Him in prayer. The habit of prayer is what keeps us tuned in to God and sensitive to the Spirit. Without the habit of prayer, the noisy demands of the world and our impulses are all we can ever hear.

Set spiritual goals –There is a saying in business, “If you don’t plan for success, you are planning to fail.” Whether it is a business or a school, a family or a sports team, everyone needs to plan. What makes us think it is any different for our spiritual lives? The well-formed heart asks that we set personal spiritual goals and actively work towards them, making the necessary sacrifices to eventually reach them. Katie Ledecky and Michael Phelps set their goals long before they stood on the Olympic medal stand. What is your plan to form a loving heart?

And… you know I am going to list seven habits, right? Check back for next week’s column!

1 thought on “Habits of a Loving Heart

  1. Humans are always waiting for good book. One thing they keep on ignoring there is only one good book The Bible. As for habits, one just have to follow Jesus and all will be well. Blessings.

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