A certain lack of clarity

DiscernmentIt would seem this is post 3 of 3 about how I ended up in Kenya. In the two preceding days I posted about the role of memory and serendipity. But I think the original inquiry from a regular reader was probably most interested in the discernment process, and how I gained clarity on what the Spirit might be calling me to do. As part of mission formation we were encouraged to journal. One of our assignments was about discerning the call to mission. I did not record a full fledged account of my discernment, but I did record this:

“Abraham and Sarah invited to cast their fate to the loom; worn out threads, frayed and tired; and the weaver just pointed to the stars” (Chuck Lathrop, ‘In a Gentle Presence’)

There are times when I feel that God
Is always inviting and asking our consent
It’s not the asking I mind
It’s the lack of clarity in what is asked
The invitation is not terribly clear
The stars are too many
At least that how it seems to me sometimes

The monks seek to climb the ladder of humility
And somehow ascend to their stars
They read, meditate, pray and contemplate
Maybe they have found the mind of God
Maybe hidden in the folds of their robes is
The clarity and specificity of God
But the monks have fled the world
They are hard to ask

The little brother from Assisi
Struggled to understand what God would have him be
He heard the Word say to rebuild the church
What God intended and Francis heard did not start on the same page
But he announced the Word
Lived his life in the Word
He was empowered by the Word
And in the end he became like the Word enfleshed
I wonder if in the end he picked out the star to which God pointed
Or it all just worked out

At least with Andrew Jesus asked ‘What do you seek?’
Andrew wanted to know where Jesus was staying
I would have asked Jesus to explain my star
To Peter he said ‘Come follow me’
Peter lays down his nets and follows
I would have wanted a little clarity and asked  ‘Which star?’
But Peter always seemed a little confused in those days
But then who isn’t

Abraham and Sarah – worn out, frayed and tired
There are days when I know how they feel
But there are also days
When like Sarah
I fall down laughing at what
God says when He speaks with clarity
God laughs too
But He still points to the stars

It does all seem to be working out…

1 thought on “A certain lack of clarity

  1. From a parishioner in the pew, I think “You wear your habit well,” suits you. I hope you are as grateful for where you are today and who you are today as the people you serve. We are grateful for your life’s journey and what you bestow upon to those yearning for “clarity” in their owns lives! Peace, always!

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